FEAR OF FAILURE

unicorn danceYes, we all want to be successful in whatever field we choose. Success is just two steps away. You can feel it, but something happens and you remain in the same spot. Why? Behind the big forceful smile, a thought lurks. “What happens if I become successful and fail?” Like many others, you get back on your feet, start over, and try again. But this would mean getting out of your comfort zone and the self-imposed prison you created. Take a look at all the times you stopped whatever you were doing because the prison felt better than knowing what was on the outside.
Fear is such a short, four letter word, and we panic at the thought of getting out of our comfort zone. This is no easy task. Start small. Watch a baby wobble from the knees and try to move forward. The child makes quite a few wobbles. Back and forth. Back and forth until it becomes familiar and the hands and knees will move together. The baby discovers table tops that need to be checked out. Soon the hands reach up and the feet become still as the legs straighten up. There is so much more to see standing up. Then comes the fun of running and each room has something new to explore. The big world outside is next.
What’s so different with ourselves? Failure will always be a part of living, but it does not have to consume your life or your world. Start small and keep going forward know matter if the steps seem huge to you.
Find ways to break down your fear and try it on again and again. But, you do not feel you are good enough, smart enough to continue. Why? This is where you talk to your fear with conviction in your voice. Stand in front of a mirror and state all the reasons why you can do anything your want, within reason. Does the mirror crack? Does the person in the mirror split apart? No. Guess everything is okay. Face your fear and you will defeat the thoughts rolling around in your head.
Fear is only distress, anxiety, panic, worry, and terror. All of these can be overcome with a little practice in the real world, but remember you will always have the mirror to help you.
Fear can destroy your employment, your friends, even your family. Yet fear can be a good feeling as it sometimes trips the alarm inside you. Always listen to yourself and your feelings. You know yourself better than anyone else. Rely on these feelings.
Now, put fear to bed and learn something new. Walk into a room of strangers and come away with new ideas and new friends. you are on your road to FREEDOM OF FEAR.

 

HAPPY FEARLESS YOU.  HAPPY WRITING.

 

FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE

On FireNow, is the time to start your own inner fire with positive activity interventions. What in the world are these? Happiness is a journey and to incorporate positive attitudes, we are on this trip all of our lives, if we want real happiness. Yes, this takes work on ourselves to accomplish our change of attitudes, habits, and getting away from instant gratification.
Okay, you get a new job, or a hefty raise, and soon you are back on the old treadmill.  The new position becomes routine and you notice the increase in your paycheck does not bring the happiness you thought more money would. What about turning these emotions to include others in your process. Do you balance your life like you want or do you keep plodding down the same path, day after day.
Now, is the time to do a self-examination. Are your hours filled with activities that create a warm-fuzzy feeling, whether by yourself or around others. What you need is a cause and effect to light the fire within you. Happiness does not delete bad days, but it can make you less afraid of not being the perfect person. We sometimes forget to be grateful for what we have and instead focus on what we do not have. Take the positive emotions and experience the feeling of joy and contentment you get during the day.
Have you ever thought about writing a thank-you note to a friend? What a surprise for that person and you will feel the good vibes too. What about a quiet hour together with a friend? At first it might seem strange; no one says anything, no one looks at the other person, no one does anything. Then after a few moments, a feeling of recognition comes into focus. You are both trying hard to be quiet, when the giggles or smiles begin. During that little part of silence, you have gotten in touch with yourself and each other.
It is not the big things in life we need, it is the little things of sharing, caring and keeping the fire burning inside you. This small fire will ignite people around you and soon become a bonfire for all of you.
Use your new insight to remind yourselves that a bad day can and probably WILL happen. So, what? There are plenty of happy days ahead. Just plod toward the next day, bringing your happy moments along.
I hope everyone survived the incredible snow over the weekend. I watched the cascade of flakes fill the roads, yards, parks, streets, and wherever else they could land. But, I also noticed the look on the kids’ faces as they trampled through drifts, used plastic lids for sleds, and had a ball during the day. Don’t forget, you can also get these happy faces back into your lives. Learn to play, again.

 

HAPPY DAY.  HAPPY WRITING. HAPPY YOU.

 

 

 

 

WINTER!

energyI saw this picture and it gave me what I miss during the winter months–Energy. Yes, this is January 2016 , but last year, 2015, was our blast of snow, ice, rain, and fear. Fear, if you were driving from work to home. Approximately 7 miles and it took me over 6-1/2 hours to get home. Today, we once again had ‘winter storm warnings’ of ice, snow, and rain. Our weather has taken rides on a roller coaster for over two months. Still, one cannot dismiss the beep..beep..beep of news announcements. For the far north part of Georgia, the snow, sleet, ice became the big forecast. For the middle north of Georgia, I watched the temperatures dip, the forecast of rain, and immediately thought of ice and black ice. But the warm streets, just above freezing temps, gave me the courage to continue to work. So far, rain is all I have seen around my home. We  were waterlogged before, and this adds to the soaked soil and possibilities of downed trees.  Did watch the news and saw snow in North Georgia and a lot of happy kids using their “snow day” to enjoy the cold, white stuff. Have no idea what tomorrow morning will bring, but I’m safe at home, enjoying the sounds of raindrops hitting my windows, and the opportunities around me for writing.

In December 2015, Niki Salcedo, writer and author of All Beautiful Things, gave our program at Georgia Romance Writers. She spoke about her life as a wife, mother of beautiful children, and writing. At the end of her program, we received green pieces of paper, which fit into the green envelopes she provided. We were to write in our own words our goals for our writing and  our lives for 2016. Then she and her husband, who attended with Niki, picked them up. She would mail them after the New Year. You cannot imagine what an impact this had when I received my own green envelope.

I opened my mail and was shocked at my own handwriting giving me instructions on my writing life for 2016. This was not something I’d read, but my own goals set by myself for my writing life and writing opportunities.Thank you, Niki, for your great insight on our writing lives. May you continue in your success along with the sharing you continue to give to writers.

I hope to do better on my blogs, that is writing more often. When I started out, my vision was fantastic, but I forgot about life, intrusions, and the time for all to come to fulfillment. Now, I have a green card posted above my desk and no one can shame yourself better than yourself.

May all of you enjoy the possibilities of the New Year , along with all the opportunities you can rope in to your world.

Happy Writing.  Happy You.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

This is a question we need to answer and find out about our happiness. I’d be happy with staying in bed an extra hour, while another person wishes to get up an extra hour earlier to enjoy the quietness or get in a few more pages of a novel. The demands of our busy lives create stress that even more hours in a day may not help. Polls and researchers have realized that we are less happy today than we were a few years ago? What? Yes, even with our technology and quick responses, technology takes away as much as it gives. Sure, we do not have to wait hours or days to get answer to questions, we we seem to spend more time in technology and less time with family and friends.

Somewhere along the fast lane, we have forgotten what it means to have time with our friends, make new hobbies, go for walks, exercise, spend time doing nothing, and enjoy family and friendships. These are areas where technology does not apply  and makes some look like they are not using all of the skills. YEEKS!

So, let’s talk about these skills:  conversing, laughing, enjoying hobbies, knitting, reading a book or magazine, playing board games with other people or family members, a great cookout and a pleasant evening. How long has it been since you’ve read a book to your children, or talked about a book with your family?

Do you know happy people live longer, have less heart problems, and enjoy life? Activities you choose, make a difference in your lives. Exercise is one activity that is essential to our longevity and well-being. Instead, we make excuses :  I can’t afford a gym; I don’t have time to exercise; I’m busy taking care of our home and family; I fix  healthy meals. Then, we then we tend to find our chair in front of the television or computer where the day ends and begins there the next morning.

This year, think about slowing down and spending more time with your friends and families. You will see a different side of everyone and learn more about each other. Do activities that make you come alive and want to share with everyone. This can be the beginning  knowing yourself, accepting yourself, and having more than you ever thought possible.

In the meantime, think of some activities you have never tried and might want to share with all of us.  Around the holidays, I noticed several people with bags of yarn, crochet hooks or knitting needles. They looked so relaxed while making or completing their projects.  So, I signed up for a free class on knitting, later this month. It may be the instructor shakes her head, but it is worth trying. Even a scarf or place mats would work for me. Just do not expect anything in the mail.

Always go forward with your ideas, activities, and enjoy life.

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Happy New Year. Happy New You. Happy Writing.

2016 New Beginnings

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Take a good look at the picture and see all of the blank pages you can add this new year. No wonder “New Year” looks so intimidating. This is your new year and you have the opportunity to fill in your pages, your way.

I was asked, before 2016 became a reality, about resolutions:  Do you make them?  Do you keep them a secret? Do you share with others? Do you hide them in a box, drawer, or notebook? Do you check to see if you are making progress? The answer is a definite “NO.”

I look at the New Year as a chance to make achievable goals. These are avenues you set to make yourself a healthier person, a happier person, a more helpful person to others.

This new beginning try to smile more often, even to people you do not know. Laugh a lot more. Stop and ask yourself when was the last time you had an old-fashioned belly laugh? When was the last time you sat and did nothing and let your mind wander to unknown places. No pressure. No to-do list to check off. This can be a walk outside, or a favorite CD you play just for yourself. What about reading a good book? Could be one you’ve read or a new one you want to check out.

And, let’s not forget our friends. Keep in touch more often. Remember to call and chat for a few minutes. This could be the time a voice brought peace to another person.

Most of all, be good to you this year. Keeping yourself healthy, exercising, eating the right foods, and listening.

Start now and fill the New Book with ideas, plans to share, and ditch the resolutions. These are accomplishments you create not only for you, but for others.

My wishes and hopes for each of you: Be Happy. Be Kind. Be Loving. These simple acts can make a difference in your lives and the lives of others, whether friends or strangers.

Have a neat 2016.