SATURDAY SITCOM

What did you sayThis is me today–full of questions and no answers. Some days are like this–I call them sitcom days. I could be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I said or asked. I wait and wait for someone else to prod me or point me in another direction. When you live alone, this never happens.

So, I invent people to help me hang out on Saturdays. Today is a clean-up Saturday. Yeah, all the chores of the week have piled up in a heap at my front door.: Either I get the chores done, or sit and read a book. OOPS . . . see what I mean. Which would you do?

I hear the voice of my mother from eons ago..”Never leave this house without clean underwear.” Okay, but why, no one is going to see anything? Then my dear, old dad pops in, “Do you have enough nickles to get a ride home?” Nickels? Are they still around? And back then, to whom would I give them?  I can’t remember ever seeing a taxi.

FASHIONATA arrives on the scene. “What are you doing with all this laundry? Where is your maid?”

“I am my maid, and at this moment, unavailable for any duties. I’ve checked out.”

“Honey, you need help.”

“Any offers?” Silence greets me.

Then I look at my kitchen. I did not put the dirty dishes in their laundry hole, after dinner last night. Well, look at it from another prospective….I did eat. No store-bought stuff or take-out. I cooked, and darn well too. So what’s the problem?

HEALTH PATROL jumps over the laundry and heads straight for the kitchen . “

“What is going on in here? Don’t you know bacteria is having their hey-day?”

“So that’s the problem. I did not get invited and neither did you.”

With that episode out-of-the-way, I feel great. Has my Saturday changed? Can I enjoy the whole day without other interruptions?

The smooth sounds of soft jazz, coming from my television, stops. The loud, loud voice of a FITNESS announcer shakes  the whole room.

“Why are you not exercising, stretching, and getting your heart-rate up?”

“Listen, if you are such a GURU, you’d know I taught fitness five days this week. I’ve stretched to put the laundry in the washer. I lifted dishes into the dishwasher, and I even turned on the vacuum cleaner.”

“But, you are just sitting there doing nothing.”

“So, what? This is my Saturday and I’m gonna enjoy it with words.”

“Words? What kind of exercise is this?”

“Mine.” I shut the television off.

There is no noise, except the hungry noises the two lovers make between the pages of my book.

HAPPY WEEKEND. HAPPY WRITING.

 

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